Your Healthy Sexual Response?
What is Normal?

People vary so widely in their sexual attitudes and practices that defining "normal" is impossible. Normal is whatever gives you and your partner pleasure together.

The ideal is for both partners to agree on how to make their sex life happy. It is normal for people to have periods of disinterest in sex and loss of desire.

Normal is whatever gives you and your partner pleasure together. It is also normal to be interested in sex throughout your life. Men and women can remain sexually active until the end of life. No one should ever have to apologize for still being interested in sex at any age.

If you feel you have been lacking sexually, remember that the only true measure of your worth as a lover is the pleasure you and your partner find together.

What is a Healthy Sexual Response?

The sexual response for both men and women is a cycle with several phases:

• Desire - an interest in sex
• Excitement - feeling of arousal
• Plateau - consistent level of arousal
• Orgasm - the sexual climax
• Resolution - the return to an unexcited state

The cycle can, however, be stopped at any phase. You do not have to reach orgasm each time you feel a desire for sex. Women have the capability of following this cycle in a variety of patterns. Female sexual response tends to be more of a circular pattern, being able to move through desire and excitement, without having to experience orgasm.

Sexual response is a complex cycle that each woman will experience a little differently. This information is meant to act as a guide to understanding and improving your sexual health.

What is an Orgasm?

An orgasm is the sexual climax both men and women can experience after sexual arousal, when the nervous system creates intense pleasure in the genitals. During orgasm, the muscles contract around the genitals and send waves of pleasure through the genital area and sometimes over the entire body. Several chemicals are released in the brain that create a feel-good sensation; these chemicals increase your state of well-being and aid in rejuvenating your body. It is not harmful to become excited without reaching orgasm. Some women are able to have multiple orgasms; others may have one orgasm during each sexual encounter.

Looking Ahead

Sexual behavior is one aspect of our need for intimacy, touch, playfulness, caring and pleasure. Even when sex becomes difficult, physical expression of caring remains an important way of sharing closeness.

Keys for Staying Sexually Healthy as We Age

1. Expect more time to be needed for arousal of both partners. Slower response to stimulation may not mean sexual disinterest. All sexual activity and intimacy may not end in intercourse or orgasm.
2. Pick an occasion when you have both time and privacy.
3. Explore new positions. Many couples find one position particularly favorable for intercourse, and rarely, if ever, try another.
4. Masturbation is a positive experience for people, even into their 70's and 80's. Touch all of the sensitive parts of your body and teach your partner any new discoveries you make about your body's sensitive zones.
5. Incorporate the use of lubricants and personal massagers to spice up your routine make intimacy more fun and enjoyable.
6. Great sex is strongly linked to communication in the bedroom. Be sure to let your partner know, either with words or by guiding with your hand, the kind of touches you like best.

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